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Welcome Home

I met my first family at the airport today. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I arrived at the airport with my colleagues and foster family and waited for about 45 minutes. The longer we waited for the plane to come in, the more nervous and excited we became. I felt butterflies in my stomach. The 18 year old son had his hands full of stuff animals to welcome his new siblings from Sudan. He was clearly nervous and excited, “Do you think they’ll want to play with me? Gosh, I hope they like me.”

When we finally saw the 5 children coming towards the gate, the dam broke and tears started to gush out. Laughing and crying, the foster family grabbed the small children and held them near to them while I tried to compose myself and snap pictures to capture this most beautiful moment.

The Mom turned to me and said, my children said to me, “Please Mom, no Christmas presents this year. Our new siblings are our Christmas present.” She wept, “I had no idea, I had no idea that they would be so beautiful”. She then turned to the children and said, “I want you to know, my husband and I have been married 23 years. Ever since then, we’ve been dreaming of you. Now you’re here and you’ll be safe with us.”

I have never experienced a homecoming like this before.

I cannot express how thankful I am to God for giving me this new job with the Lutheran Community Services, Refugee Children’s Program. It truly is my joy to be assisting these Unaccompanied Refugee Minors in their transition to their new home and lives in the States. I just pray I would be a blessing to them as they are to me.

Under the Moonlight

Last night I watched a powerful film that unexpectedly rekindled some flames that have been slowly burning out since our return to the States from Cambodia. The movie is entitled “Under the Moonlight” by Reza Mir-Karimi. This Iranian drama is about a young seminary student, Seyyed Hassan, who is struggling between his jadedness with his studies and his desire to please his father by becoming a respectable religious leader. When he finally receives enough money and motivation to buy his supplies for his clerical attire, they are stolen by a homeless boy he befriends on the subway. Being a poor country folk with no means to buy another set of supplies, Seyyed sets out to find that thief. However, what he finds is that the thief, not only steals his sacred garments but also his calloused heart. As Seyyed reluctantly stumbles upon the boy’s “family”, a bunch of bums living among garbage under a bridge, he is forced to face a community that he, and the rest of society, has been driving over all his life. Moreover, he is forced to face his ignorance and neglect. From this community, Seyyed encounters a pain and sorrow that he knew nothing of, but also a love and joy that he never before experienced. As Seyyed finds himself drawn to his new friends night after night, he discovers that these times, under the moonlight, teach him more about God and life than anything he is learning in seminary.

It is amazing how much this Muslim movie resonated with me, a Christian. First of all, this story is awfully similar to mine. Pretty much most of my Christian life, I was happily oblivious to the world. My nose was stuck in the Bible, my mind was on evangelizing the lost, and my heart was set on “doing the right thing”. However, when I was forced to face people that “live under a bridge”, and subsequently my ignorance and neglect, I finally began my journey in experiencing the heart of God, not only for the lost but for the least of this world. After working with abused refugee woman and children in Boston and then spending four years living among the poor in Cambodia, I have found that all that I learned in seminary came crashing down. Systematic theology did not help me address systematic injustice and poverty. Learning to parse Greek and Hebrew did not equip me to share God’s love with a community that has been destroyed by war. Although I loved learning exegetical preaching, it did not learn to communicate scripture to people who are just hoping to live one more day.

“Under the Moonlight” reminded me that, like Seyyed, I need to be with people that have a resiliency and joy that is rarely seen among those that drive quickly past over the bridge. I too have found that living and walking with people whom the world overlooks, is what gives me insight into the heart of God.

There is a scene in the movie where one of Seyyed’s friends asks him, “Why does God look down on the poor?” Seyyed responds, “God looks down at the world and sees everyone as poor, especially the rich”. It is not God who looks down on the poor, it is me. And when I look down on the poor, I, privileged and rich, become even poorer than them. The only way I can prevent myself from looking down is to look to God WITH them.

Poverty of Spirit

Luke 18: 35-42

As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

I have always wondered why Jesus bothered to ask the man what he wanted. Isn’t it obvious? They guy is blind, he wants to see! Living in Cambodia, I’ve realized that what people REALLY want is not always that obvious. Jesus must have known there was something about this particular man by the roadside. His blindness was not an excuse to beg. He really did want to see.

I have a teammate, Heap, who came across a handicapped man dying on the side of the road. Heap, the quintessential Good Samaritan, brought the man to a hospital, paid for his recovery, and upon discharge, provided room and board and job training. For several years Heap nurtured this man and eventually found him a job. Nevertheless, the man chose to go back to begging. Although this man was given a chance to break out of the cycle of poverty, his soul continues to live in hopelessness.

There is something terribly debasing about begging. What does it do to one’s soul? Each time a beggar reaches out their hand, it is like saying, “I’m not worth anything more than the pity that is thrown at me”. Most of the time, the patron is not even responding in pity but in annoyance. People give in to beggars merely to get them to stop harassing them. Those who beg for a living have no hope or vision of living a life any other way. Some chose to keep their ailment or handicap because it is too much of an asset when it comes to their profession.

When we lived in Beng Trabek, most ex-pats, including other missionaries, considered that neighborhood the slums. After all, most of our neighbors lacked basic needs. Some had never been to school. Many were illiterate. Nonetheless, they did not beg. They worked even if they were just scraping by. Some spent the whole day roaming the city, looking through trash to find anything that could be recycled and sold. Others worked jobs making 5 cents an hour. They did anything but beg. There was something in them that recognized that there is dignity in working, whatever it is.

So is the solution to begging merely job creation? Yes and no. There are always tons of people like those in Beng Trabek who are willing to work 2 or 3 jobs if only they were available. But more often than not there are those like Heap’s friend who could work but chose to beg instead. Something more substantial than offering a job needs to be done. Deeper issues of a “poverty of the spirit” need to be dealt with. How can we instill value, worth, dignity and hope in people who are so broken, physically and spiritually?

I’ve been thinking of these things lately because, while being solicited by beggars was a daily occurrence in Phnom Penh, Danny and I were solicited for the first time in Kampong Cham just a few days ago. It caught us off guard. We were initially surprised, and then saddened realizing that this “poverty of the spirit” is pervasive and unavoidable no matter where you live.

Lost Baby

Cameron Highlands Tea Plantation, MalaysiaLast week when we were in Malaysia, we stayed at the OMF bungalow, a cozy house for missionaries in the Cameron Highlands. Pretty much all the missionaries in this region rave about this retreat center and how peaceful and beautiful the tea plantations that surround it are. I was warned, however, that it is on top of a steep cliff and that I would have to watch the kids carefully lest they run off and fall down the 20 or so feet drop into the thick jungle.

One afternoon the kids were running around the garden while I was inside finishing up my lunch. I wasn’t worried about the kids running off the cliff because Danny was watching them. When I walked outside I saw Silas playing with Danny. But when Danny saw me without Cassia he was clearly concerned, “Where is Cassia? I thought she was with you!”

I looked at Danny with total confusion and didn’t say anything. Danny asked again, “I’m serious, where is Cassia?” I could tell that Danny was getting pretty anxious and totally at a loss as to Cassia’s whereabouts. But I kept looking at Danny wondering, “Is he joking? If he is, it’s not funny. If he isn’t, he must be out of his mind!” I figured he must be serious because it was obvious that his anxiety was rapidly increasing as I just stared back at him with a perplexed look.

It took Danny saying “I’m serious, where’s Cassia!” about 3 more times and me staring back in total bewilderment when he finally realized that the whole time he was actually holding his “lost baby”. I recall Cassia’s expression, sitting so peacefully in Danny’s arm, when Danny started to panic. I’m sure she was thinking, “What’s Daddy all frazzled about?”

For those of you who have known Danny for a long time, you know how often he mis-places things and can’t find them even if they are right in front of him. Like that time he was looking for his glasses when he was already wearing them! However, this case of the lost baby is definitely a classic!

Cassia and Silas on see saw

Cassia & Silas joyously oblivious to the drop off just 3 feet behind them.

Cassia at OMF Guest House

Cassia wandering aimlessly …

OMF Guest House, Cameron Highlands, Malaysia

The grounds of the OMF guest house.

“The time is coming…” – Easter Meditation

“The time is coming,” declares the LORD, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,” declares the LORD. “This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.” -Jeremiah 31:31-33

They were God’s chosen people, yet the Israelites were notorious for their rebellion against him. As soon as they were freed from slavery in Egypt, they forgot the Lord who saved them, prostrating themselves before idols in his stead (verse 32). Over and over again, the Lord showed mercy by sending prophets who spoke of his loving kindness as well as his judgment.

Jeremiah lived among people who were unruly and self-absorbed. Even though he urged them to surrender to the Lord, they continued to refuse. He lamented over their brokenness, sin, and impending judgment. Thus, Jeremiah’s deep anguish afforded him the title “the weeping prophet.”

Although my context in Cambodia is different than that of Jeremiah’s, I too have tasted intense grief because of the fallenness around me. Almost daily I face something worthy of such lamentation. Sometimes the feelings are unbearable—anger at those in power who continue to use their position to keep those under them in poverty and distress; distress over the fact that women and children sleep on the side of the road at night; outrage at people who sell their children to “adoption” agencies or into slavery and prostitution; pain in witnessing emaciated children begging for scraps of food or picking through trash. Every Cambodian family I meet has at least one member who has died or is dying of AIDS, and most have lost family members during the Pol Pot regime. Gambling, drunkenness, pornography, and domestic violence are commonplace.

Constantly, I battle between rage and sorrow. The gaping poverty is overwhelming, and I am left feeling hopeless. Most of the time, all I can pray is, “Jesus, please come back soon and make things right!”

As I meditate on the writings of Jeremiah, I sense that he too felt hopeless throughout his prophetic ministry. However, in the height of his anguish, he proclaims, “The time is coming…” This promise from God may have been the only thing that kept him going. There is hope after all.

Despite the fallenness of this world, there is hope that our Redeemer is coming. Despite my discontent and grief concerning the way things are now, I look forward to that time when all things will be restored under his Kingdom rule. Until that time, may God find me faithful to live out the power of his Kingdom in the circumstances in which I am privileged to serve.

Christ is King! May his Kingdom come!

Reflection and Prayer:

  • What about the fallenness around you causes you to grieve?
  • What changes or sacrifices is God calling you or your community to make in order to address these things that cause grief?
  • How does trusting in God’s promise that “the time is coming…” help you to gain perspective and hope while waiting? How does such hope free you to surrender to the Lord and live out more fully his joy in the present?

Not Hungry

“Man does not eat on bread only, but on the Words of God…” – Matthew 4:4

There is a term in Khmer, “ot klien”, which is literally translated as “not hungry”. It took me a while to realize that this term actually means “starvation”. Ironic isn’t it? Why does this word which SHOULD mean “full” or “satisfied” mean just the opposite?

Our Project Director at Sunrise is a wonderful women. She is in her 40’s and thus lived through the Khmer Rough in her teens. One day when Danny approached her about his confusion over this term “ot klien”, she looked seriously at him and with tears starting to well up in her eyes said, “Sit down, let me tell you a story.”

Darany began sharing of all the hardships during the time of the Khmer Rough. She shared how they were made to work all day and would often faint in exhaustion. She shared how they were only given a bowl of rice porridge a day. She shared how due to their lack of vitamin A, they developed “chicken blindness”, a disease where one goes completely blind by dusk . Darany became even more emotional when she shared, “There were so many times when I knew if I didn’t get anything to eat in a few days, I was going to die. Then the next day I would get just enough to survive for a few more days…and that is when I knew God is surely with me!

When Danny came home for dinner and told me of his conversation with Darany, I could not help but be moved. I think I can say with confidence that most Americans would not be praising God if they were in her position. In fact, I can imagine most people would curse God, question His existence, or at least accuse Him of abandoning them. In other words, “Surely God is with me!” probably would not be the first thing that comes to mind.

I’m not sure if Darany’s story explained how “ot klien”  means “starvation”. But it was clear that, through her trials, she has learned to feast on God. When her body yearned for “just enough”, her spirit grasped God all the more.

When I hear stories like Darany’s, I am faced with a reality check of my own pettiness. I feel like an ungrateful, spoiled child thinking about how I often find myself complaining about the lack of variety in our meals and long to be back in the States where I don’t have to eat rice every single day. I cannot tell you how many times a day I think about American grocery stores and what I would like to buy at Costco’s.  Obviously, it’s not just about food, but about an ungrateful attitude altogether. I really do want to grow into being a truly grateful person, one that can honestly say “God is with me” no matter what I am going through. Right now, I’m just so thankful that God brought people like Darany into my life to show me how. At least that’s a start.

Life in a Fish Bowl

One thing I will never get used to is being watched all the time. When we lived in Beng Trabek, our neighbors didn’t just look into our windows, they stared. When they were caught, they didn’t get embarrassed and look away. They didn’t even try to play it off by quickly glancing up at the roof as if there were something interesting up there. They would keep staring and if they were particularly friendly, they would smile and wave at Silas.

Kids would climb up the side of our house and hang onto the window bars to get a better look. They would watch what we were doing and give a second by second play of what we were doing to the rest of the neighbors downstairs listening to their reports.

When we fed Silas outside at the top of the stairs, kids would take turns coming up so see what he was eating. “He’s eating fried rice with carrots and pork!”, would echo down the neighborhood from one kid to another.

Our teammates who lived in the same neighborhood had it really bad, mainly because they are not only foreigners but are dead-up white foreigners. People would watch their baby taking a bath and comment to each other, “Wow, his balls look like chicken eggs!”

When we first moved to this small town of Kampong Cham, we thought we were getting more privacy because we live at work within a gated house. Then we realized that whenever we went out, our neighbors would somehow report to one another where we went, what we bought, and how our kids were behaving.

It’s not like we’re followed around by paparazzi, but living in a fish bowl can be really frustrating. But then we realize, “what else are they going to be talking about?”  Most of the time you just see people lounging around looking at each other, the ground, the sky…there’s not much going on. So we become the entertainment.

Last Sunday was a typical Sunday. We had nothing to do and no one to see. We were sitting out on our balcony doing nothing but looking up and down the street. Danny started watching the next door neighbors build cement pillars and started commenting on them.

Danny – Check out the guy in the gray shirt. My man is bookin’!
Anita – He looks like he’s on speed or something.
Danny – Dude, he must be hot. How does he move so fast? He’s gotta be twice as fast as the rest of them.
Anita – Yeah, ten times faster than Humpty Dumpty over there.
Danny – Oh, look at Da (grandpa) trying to help. He’s going to break his back.
Anita – I think that’s the guy I always hear coughing up phlegm every morning.
Danny – Yuck!

Anita – Hey Danny?
Danny  – Yeah?
Anita – You know what’s happening?
Danny –  Yeah…
Anita & Danny  – We’re becoming like them!

Koh Kong – Our Final Trek

Last week marked probably the last major trek as a family we will ever undertake in Cambodia… at least for a while. We packed four vans with our entire InnerCHANGE staff, both ex-pat and nationals, and drove for a total of 10 hours to Koh Kong, a remote island off of the southeast coast of Cambodia. Koh Kong island is still one of the most underdeveloped places of Cambodia. However, this will quickly change as a rich Thai business man is currently building a “super highway” including four bridges that will give Thais and other travelers a direct route from this border town to Phnom Penh.

I’m glad we got to enjoy Koh Kong before it becomes overwhelmed with tourists and the chaos that usually comes with it.
Koh Kong ferry

In order to get to Koh Kong, we had to cross four rivers. It was quite incredible how many cars, people and merchandise could fit on these simple ferries. At some crossings we had to wait up to an hour for our turn. When the bridges are done, I’m guessing the travel time will be cut in half.

Cassia’s first dip in the sea

Cassia at Koh Kong beach

Silas playing “Sand-man”

Koh Kong has THE most remote beach I have ever been to…if you can find it. We were told, “If you are driving through miles of dirt “road” surrounded by mush and thinking, ‘This cannot be the right way’, you’re going the right way”. It was really nice being at the beach all by ourselves since most beaches in S.E. Asia are packed with tourists and solicitors.

Koh Kong beach

It’s amazing how some of the best food comes from the remotest of places. I’m sure our lunch was caught that morning. Seafood, yum!!!

Ruined for Good

Last week marked the end of a two month period of a constant influx of guests. We had friends from various places like Malaysia, Kuwait, Thailand, Romania and the States visit for one or two nights to two weeks.  Although busy, it was a wonderful time.  Not only did we use them as excuses to see new places in Cambodia, it was really nice to have  English speaking  companionship other than my husband and children. Each one was a blessing.

The thing I love most about having guests is that I find that whenever someone visits, particularly from the States, I experience Cambodia for the first time again. They point out things, like a family of seven riding on one moto-bike, that have ceased to amaze me. They observe things, like the incredible high percentage of folks with missing limbs, when I’d rather turn a blind eye. The amount and intensity of begging tends to disturb them, while I have grown accustomed to shooing people away. They experience the heat (even thought it’s “cool” season), cry taking cold showers (OK, I admit, I STILL cry taking cold showers), get bitten by mosquitoes like raw meat, and are always asking if the water is clean or if they should throw away the ice.

Having guests reminds me that I am, in a sense, a foreigner from a foreign land. I come from a place where life is A LOT different. I have not come to live in a place that is actually that strange or exotic. It is America that is the anomaly. It is not normal to live in a place where you can expect clean, running water, where the item you wanted to buy is REALLY in the box, where a “new” car is actually new, and where you can screw up on your income tax form and Uncle Sam not only lets you know but pays you back (this has actually happened to me TWICE!). The fact that there are such things as libraries, parks, free public bathrooms, sinks with hot water, and open refrigeration in grocery stores now completely baffle me.

Cambodia has ruined me for good. I has changed my life, my perspective, my attitude. It has burst my bubble.  I can no longer go back believing things that I used to expect as God given rights, like plumbing, electricity, and medical care, are the norm. These luxuries are not rights, they are privileges to those who are among the elite. Everyday that I dread taking cold showers, I am faced with the reality that most Cambodians do not have running water and much of the world does not even have adequate water period. Everyday I am bombarded with the fact that my life back in the States was almost like living in the “Truman Show”. It’s nice and neat, but not real, at least for most of the world.

As our family is now preparing to return to the States this summer, I have mixed feelings. In one sense I am totally looking forward to being back “home”. I can’t wait for all those creature comforts like hot showers, strolling down sidewalks, playing in public parks, wearing a jacket, and ice-cream that’s creamy. On the other hand, I dread reentering a society where I can so easily slip back into my self-absorbed, unconcerned and complacent ways.  I fear taking for granted things that I have come to appreciate so much. I don’t want to be spoiled again, but will trust God that Cambodia has “ruined me for good”.

A Helpless God

ព្រះជាម្ចាស់​ដែលធ្វើរ​អ្វី​ខ្លូន​អែងមឹន​បាន

ព្រះបន្តុល​បានកើត​មក​ជា​មនុស្ស ហើយ​គង់​នៅ​ក្នុងចំណោម​យើង​រាល់​គ្នា
យូ់ហាន​​​​​​ ១:១៤

ខ្ងុំ​មាន​កូន​ពីរ​នាក់។​ កាល​កូន​ដំបូង​ទើប​កើត​មក​​ ខ្ងុំ​មិន​ចេះ​ថែរក្សា​​វាសៅះ។​​ ខ្ងុំ​មិន​ដែល​​បាន​ថែរក្សា​​​កូន​ពី​មូនទេ។ ខ្ងុំ​មិនបានចេះ​ពន អោយ​ងូតទឹក បញ្ចុក។ ខ្ងុំ​មិនដឹង​អ្វីសៅះ​អំពី​កូន​ក្មេង។ តូច្នេះ​ពេល​ខ្ងុំ​បាន​ត្រូវការ​នាំ​វាមក​ផ្ទះ​ ខ្ងុំ​ភយខ្លាចណាស់។​ កូន​ងារទើប​កើ​តតូត​នឹងស្រួយ​ណាស់។​ ខ្ងុំ​មិន​ហ៉ាន​ពុន​វា ខ្ងុំ​ខ្លាចខ្ងុំ​ប្រហែល​ធ្វើរ​អោយ​វា​ធ្លាក់​។ ខ្ងុំ​មិន​ហ៉ាន​អោយ​ងូតទឹក​ ខ្ងុំ​ខ្លាច​ទឹក​ជូល​​ផ្សិត។ ខ្ងុំ​ភយខ្លាចណាស់។

ខ្ងុំ​​អរ​ព្រះ​គុណ​ព្រះជាម្ចាស់​​សំរាប​ប្រធាន​កូន​ទល​ខ្ងុំ​​ ខ្ងុំ​​​ដឹង​ថាវា​ពិតជា​​មហាអស្ចារ្យ។ បុន្តែ​ខ្ងុំ​គឹស្រែកយំ​​ច្រើនទល​ព្រះ​ “ព្រះអឺយ សូម​ជូយ​ខ្ងុំផង​ ខ្ងុំមិន​ចេះដឹង​ធ្វើរ​យាងមេចសៅះ។​​” ខ្ងុំថ្លាប់​ពុន​កូននឹង​គឹត​​ “អឹយ វា​គ្មាន​កំលាង​នឹង​មឹន​ចេះ​ធ្វើរ​អ្វី​ខ្លូន​អែង​សោះ។​ វា​ត្រុវការ​ទុកចិត​អាស្រយលើ​ខ្ងុំ​ ហើយ​ខ្ងុំ​សំរាក់​មឹន​បាន។” ខ្ងុំបាន​ត្រុវ​ការ​រៀន​ចេះ​ច្រើន ​ពុន​វា អោយ​ងូតទឹក បំពៅ ហើយ​បញ្ចុក។ ពេល​យុប​ខ្ងុំបាន​ត្រុវ​ការ​ក្រោក​ឡើង ហើយ​នឹង​លូងលៅម​កូន​ ហើយ​នឹង​បំពៅកូន។

ពេល​កូន​យំ​ខ្ងុំក្រោក​ពី​គេង​ភ្លាម។ ខ្ងុំថ្លាប់​ច្ងល់ “ហេតុអ្វិ​បា តែងតែ​គេងរហូត ​មិនតែលភ្ងាក់​ទេ?” គាត់​ថា​ “ខ្ងុំ​​​មិនតែល​លូ​កូន​ទេ ពេល​ខ្ងុំ​​​​ចុង​ជូយ​ មាក​កាន់​កូន​ហើយ!” មាកខ្ងុំ​បាន​និយាយថា “បើសីនកូន​មិន​មាន​បា វា​ពីបាក​ចិត បន្តែបើសីនកូន​មិន​មាន​​មាក វា​និងស្លាប់!” កូន​ខ្ងុំ​​​​​គ្មាន​កំលាង​នឹង​មឹន​ចេះ​ធ្វើរ​អ្វី​ខ្លូន​អែង​សោះ។​ វា​ត្រុវការ​ទុកចិត​អាស្រយលើ​ខ្ងុំ​។

យប់​មូយ កាលខ្ងុំ​​បាន​លូងនឹង​បំពៅកូន ខ្ងុំ​​ពែវា នឹងខ្ងុំ​​នឹក​ឃើញ​ថា “ព្រះ​យេសូ​ថ្លាប់​​ជា​កូន​ងារ​ដូចជា​កូន​ខ្ងុំ” ព្រះ​ ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​ ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​តែល​បង្កើត សបសារបើរ​ទាំង​អស់ ព្រះ​នេះគឹ​ក្លាយ​ទៅជា​កូន​ងារ​ ដូចជា​កូន​ខ្ងុំ​​។ ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​តែល​បង្កើតសបសារបើរ​ទាំង​អស់ គឹ​ជាកូន​តែល​គ្មាន​កំលាង​នឹង​មឹន​ចេះ​ធ្វើរ​អ្វី​ខ្លូន​អែង​សោះ ហើយ​ទ្រុង​គឺត្រូវការ​ទុកចិត​អាស្រយលើ​មាក​របស់ទ្រុងតែ។

ព្រះបន្តុល​បានកើត​មក​ជា​មនុស្ស ហើយ​គង់​នៅ​ក្នុង​ចំណោម​យើង​រាល់​គ្នា​​

ពេល​ខ្ងុំ​​​មាន​ស្រមោល​ស្ម្រី​អំ​ពី​​ខគម្ពី​នេះ ធម្មតា​ខ្ងុំគឹត​អំ​ពី​​​ ព្រះ​យេសូ​បានក្លាយ​ទៅជាមនុស្ស។​ ព្រះ​យេសូ​ក្លាយ​ទៅជាមនុស្ស ដើម្ពី​មាន​ទំ​នាក់ទំនង់​ជា​មុយ​យើង។ ដើម្ពី​បង្រៀន​ព្រះបន្តុលនែព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​ ដើម្ពី​បង្ហាញ​ផ្លូវទល់ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​។​ ពេល​ខ្ងុំ​​​មាន​ស្រមោល​ស្ម្រីអំ​ពី​​ការ​បន្ទាបខ្លូននែព្រះ​យេសូ​ ធម្មតា​ខ្ងុំគឹត​អំ​ពី​​​ព្រះ​យេសូ​សគុតលើ​​ឃើ​ច្កាង។

ព្រះ​យេសូ​បានក្លាយ​ទៅជាមនុស្ស។​​ បុន្តែខ្ងុំអូសាភ្លេច​តែល​ លើក​តំរង់ព្រះ​យេសូ​បានក្លាយ​ទៅជាកូន​ងារ​សិន។ ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​តែល​បង្កើតសបសារបើរ​ទាំង​អស់ បានបន្ទាបខ្លូន ហើយ​និង​ក្លាយ​ទៅជាកូន​ងារ​តែល​គ្មាន​កំលាង​នឹង​មឹន​ចេះ​ធ្វើរ​អ្វី​ខ្លូន​អែង​សោះ។ ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​តែល​បង្កើត សបសារបើរ​ទាំង​អស់ ធ្លាប់​​ស្រេកឃ្លាន ទ្រុងធ្លាប់​ត្រជាក់ ទ្រុងធ្លាប់​​មិន​ស្រូល​ខ្លូន។ ទ្រុងធ្លាប់​យំ​ពេល​យប់​ប្រហែល​សំរាប់​ពីរ​ពែ​ខែ ដូចជា​កូនខ្ងុំ​​​​។ ទ្រុងធ្លាប់​​​​បត់ជើង ដូចជា​កូនខ្ងុំ​​​​។​ ទ្រុងធ្លាប់​​​​​ក្អូត​និង​ភៅមដូចជា​កូនខ្ងុំ​​​​។​ មាក​ទ្រុង​បាន​ត្រុវ​ការ​ពុន​ អោយ​ងូតទឹក លូង បំពៅ បញ្ចុក ប្តូរ​ខោអាវ ទាំង​អស់​ ដូចជា​កូនផ្សេង​ទៀត​​​​​។ ព្រះ​យេសូ​ ជា​ព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​តែល​បង្កើត សបសារបើរ​ទាំង​អស់​ ​​​បន្តែ​ពេល​កើត​មក​ទ្រុងគ្មាន​​កំលាង​នឹង​មឹន​ចេះ​ធ្វើរ​អ្វី​មឹន​បាន​ទេ។

កាល​ព្រះ​យេសូ​បានកើតមក ទ្រុង​បាន​ដូច​ជា​យើង។។​ កាល​ព្រះ​យេសូ​បានកើតមក​​​ ទ្រុង​បាន​ខ្លាយទៅ​ជា​កូនងា។ នេះ​គឺ​ជា​ការ​បន្ទាបខ្លូននែព្រះ​ជា​ម្ចាស់​​។

 

A Helpless God

“The Word became flesh and lived among us.”- John 1:14

I have two children. When the first one was born I was completely clueless as to how to care for babies. I am the youngest child and did not have any nieces or nephews and had few friends with children. I did not know anything about babies and certainly did not know how to hold them, bathe them, or feed them. When it was time to leave the hospital I could not believe that the hospital staff expected me to bring the baby with me. I was afraid of hurting him, changing his diaper, dropping him… I made Danny give him his first bath because I was too afraid to do it myself. In other words, I was a total basket case.

While I praised God for giving me such a miracle, I also cried out to him, “Oh God, help! I don’t know what to do!” I would hold Silas in my arms and stare at him and while I was in awe of this miracle, I would also think, “Wow, this tiny little ‘thing’ in my arms is so tiny, fragile, weak, helpless AND completely dependent on me.” I would have to learn to hold him, bathe him, change his diaper, feed him. When he cried in the middle of the night, I had to get up and countless times to comfort and nurse him. While I would automatically wake up right before he even started to cry, Danny kept on sleeping. I was so tired I thought I was going to die. I asked Danny why he did not ever get up to help me and he responded, “I never hear him cry.” My mom said, “If a baby doesn’t have a father, he will be sad. If he doesn’t have a mother, he will die.”

One night, during one of those many night feeds, I had a profound spiritual experience. As I held Silas in my arms close to me, I thought, “Jesus was a baby just like mine. The Son of God, the creator of the world was a baby, just like my baby. He was tiny, weak, completely helpless and totally dependent on his mom.”

“The Word became flesh and lived among us.”

When I meditate on this verse I tend to think of Jesus as a man. Jesus became a man in order to have a relationship with us, to teach us the Word of God, to show us the way to God. When I meditate on the humility of Christ, I tend to reflect on his suffering and ultimate death on the cross for our sins.

God became man and lived among us. But I often forget that first God became a baby, a tiny, weak, helpless baby, just like my babies. The God who has all power and authority, humbled himself and became an infant, unable to do anything by himself. He cried when he was hungry, cold, and wet. He woke up in the middle of the night for months. He pooped, spat up, farted, got sick. His mother needed to learn to take care of him just like I did. He exhausted his mother just like my children do. He needed to be changed, nursed, burped, held, comforted. Just as my children are totally dependent on me, Jesus, the Son of God, creator of the universe, King of Kings, was totally dependent of his mother.

God became man and lived among us. But when he came he became one of us, a helpless baby. Now, THIS is the humility of God.