On Monday March 22, 2004 around 4:15am I woke up and went to the bathroom. Upon reaching the toilet, I felt a gush of water and proceeded to shout, “Danny, my water broke!” He didn’t quite believe me and almost convinced me that I peed on myself. I was pretty sure my water burst though; so Danny called Dr. Tran.
I told Dr. Tran that I felt some light contractions. They were not very intense but were regular so I didn’t know if they were real labor contractions or Braxton-Hicks. Dr. Tran said that I sounded too calm to be close to active labor so I did not need to hurry to the hospital. She suggested eventually making it to the hospital by 7am when she would be there.
I took a shower and went downstairs and had a leisurely breakfast. My dad came down and was surprised to see us up so early. I told him that I was in labor. I was surprisingly calm. I’m not sure if I really believed I would have the baby that day.
Around 6am we started for the hospital and by 6:30am I was in the delivery room. They checked my cervix and said I was already 4-5cm dilated. The nurse said, “You will definitely have the baby today”.
Within the next couple hours the contractions became more and more intense. Throughout labor the nurses repeatedly asked me if I wanted an epidural. I told them I was too afraid. The thought of a needle poking my back totally creped me out. Also, I had heard it could prolong labor and I really wanted a “quickie” delivery. I didn’t want any interference. Most of all, a sick part of me just “wanted to know what it would feel like”. After all, millions of women all over the world don’t have the option of meds. I guess it was my twisted way of feeling some sense of solidarity.
By the time I was about 8cm dilated, the pain was almost unbearable. Yet the urge to not push was even harder to overcome. By now it was about 10am and Dr. Zuckerman was now the Dr. on call. I remember a nurse telling him that I refused the epidural. He raised his eyebrows and said, “Tough girl!”
Around 11am I was fully dilated. Now I understand why they call it labor. I didn’t realize how much physically it would take to do the job. All my muscles were sore for days afterwards. The nurse instructed me to crouch forward and use my hands to pull my legs back towards my chest. Whenever I had a contraction, she would instruct me to take a big breath and push for 10 counts. I remember during this phase thinking it would only take about 15 minutes or so. At one point I asked the nurse how long this would take, she said, “It could be 30 minutes to a couple hours”. I couldn’t believe I could possibly go through this for another hour or so.
The next two nights in the hospital I couldn’t sleep. The whole delivery experience kept flashing through my head. I was somewhat traumatized and to some extent still in disbelief of the whole experience. At the same time, I was filled with joy. Although the pain was unreal, I felt proud of myself for enduring so much to bring Silas into the world. I felt accomplished, like I was initiated into motherhood.
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i love the birth stories and how you two met story! i wrote down k’s birth story and similarly bc i had a fast labor, i felt an out of body experience and was tramautized and replayed the event over and over. that’s kind of annoying the hospital folks weren’t supportive of you trying to do it without drugs. i thought the 2nd would be easier, but it sounds like its not necessarily the case, no guarantee, like kids, unpredictable!
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