Afajita

One of Silas’ favorite games as of late consists of him shredding apart cardboard boxes into small strips. He then makes the rounds and divvies up the shreds to whoever is there. Most recipients wonder, “Why is this kid giving me pieces of trash?” But if you ask, Silas will answer, “I’m giving you money to help poor people”, then sighs and roles his eyes as if to say, “duh!” Another variation of this game consists of Silas sorting out his “money” into different piles while saying, “This money is to help poor people; this for sick people; and this for broken people.” The boy definitely picked up this “game” from his daddy.

I have to confess, Danny’s mantra of “live simply, give generously” is a real pain in the rear end, sometimes literally. During the first six months or so of marriage, our apartment was furnished with only a table and four folding chairs. We didn’t even have a mattress to sleep on. Danny finally gave in and bought a bed when he realized that the pain shooting from my butt into my right leg each morning was from sleeping on the floor. Seven years later, the pain in my butt STILL acts up once in a while.

Later, when we moved to the slums in Phnom Penh we had a bed but sat and ate on the floor. (So again there was no place to rest my weary butt.) Danny would look at our simply house and declare, “Isn’t this romantic?” I would look around at the small wooden place adorned with only a mosquito net and say, “No, romantic is flowers, candlelight dinners, vacationing in Paris!”

In terms of money, giving it away is Danny’s hobby. He often says his dream job would be to have a lot of money and then give it all away. To this I respond, “Well then, it must be a dream cuz you ain’t gonna get rich doing what you’re doing now!”

I have to be honest, giving is not natural for me. I am from a Taiwanese family and that means – SAVE!!! I do not like spending money on anything or giving to anyone. I am stingy, tight fisted, and love a good bargain. It is a HUGE struggle for me each time Danny says, “We have a surplus this month. Who should we give to?” My initial reaction is always to furrow my brow, purse my lips, fold my arms across my chest, and silently say “Don’t you dare!”

Last time we were on furlough another couple asked us what we do about saving for retirement. We told them that we put aside X amount in a mutual fund. They replied, “Oh, that’s pretty good.” Then there was this awkward silence because they realized that we meant “X amount a year”; probably about the same amount they save per month. I wonder who felt more uncomfortable during those few moments. I know I certainly felt pretty embarrassed.

Yes, I still have my little fantasies of living in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, in addition to the beach side home in Malibu. But then I realize, I would much rather live in a shack with Danny then in a palace with anyone else. So, I guess I am lucky.

A little while ago, when I was in a more mushy mood, I said to Danny, “Thanks for marrying me.” He was kind of surprised by that random comment and said, “You say it like I’m doing you a favor. Who else would have married me?” I thought for a second and said, “Hum, good point.” And I have that pain in my butt to prove it!