Afajita

“Man does not eat on bread only, but on the Words of God…” - Matthew 4:4

There is a term in Khmer, “ot klien”, which is literally translated as “not hungry”. It took me a while to realize that this term actually means “starvation”. Ironic isn’t it? Why does this word which SHOULD mean “full” or “satisfied” mean just the opposite?

Our Project Director at Sunrise is a wonderful women. She is in her 40’s and thus lived through the Khmer Rough in her teens. One day when Danny approached her about his confusion over this term “ot klien”, she looked seriously at him and with tears starting to well up in her eyes said, “Sit down, let me tell you a story.”

Darany began sharing of all the hardships during the time of the Khmer Rough. She shared how they were made to work all day and would often faint in exhaustion. She shared how they were only given a bowl of rice porridge a day. She shared how due to their lack of vitamin A, they developed “chicken blindness”, a disease where one goes completely blind by dusk . Darany became even more emotional when she shared, “There were so many times when I knew if I didn’t get anything to eat in a few days, I was going to die. Then the next day I would get just enough to survive for a few more days…and that is when I knew God is surely with me!

When Danny came home for dinner and told me of his conversation with Darany, I could not help but be moved. I think I can say with confidence that most Americans would not be praising God if they were in her position. In fact, I can imagine most people would curse God, question His existence, or at least accuse Him of abandoning them. In other words, “Surely God is with me!” probably would not be the first thing that comes to mind.

I’m not sure if Darany’s story explained how “ot klien”  means “starvation”. But it was clear that, through her trials, she has learned to feast on God. When her body yearned for “just enough”, her spirit grasped God all the more.

When I hear stories like Darany’s, I am faced with a reality check of my own pettiness. I feel like an ungrateful, spoiled child thinking about how I often find myself complaining about the lack of variety in our meals and long to be back in the States where I don’t have to eat rice every single day. I cannot tell you how many times a day I think about American grocery stores and what I would like to buy at Costco’s.  Obviously, it’s not just about food, but about an ungrateful attitude altogether. I really do want to grow into being a truly grateful person, one that can honestly say “God is with me” no matter what I am going through. Right now, I’m just so thankful that God brought people like Darany into my life to show me how. At least that’s a start.