Vlady Fresh

WARNING: This entry may contain more information than you ever wanted to know about my private life.

Living in a place like Cambodia means that we need to maximize every opportunity we have to spend time in developed countries. Since, by any estimation, Singapore would be counted among the most developed countries, we had a laundry list of tasks to accomplish. The first was medical (I wanted to get “snipped”), the second was academic (I had to take the GREs), the third was social (we wanted to catch up with friends), and the fourth was our desire for a “civilization fix”.

From the start I knew that the getting all of these accomplished was going to be difficult and that some compromises would be needed. The biggest problem was that the hospital insisted that I get snipped at the beginning of my stay so as to have enough time for a one week follow-up appointment.

My troubles began with my first bout of diarrhea the first night in Singapore. The next morning I did my best to hide my diarrhea from the hospital staff for fear that they wouldn’t perform the surgery if they knew I was sick. I was successful and, just 24 hours after landing in Singapore, was snipped. As I rested in the recovery room, reality kicked in and I began thinking, “What have I done? I have to take the GREs tomorrow!”

That night was interesting to say the least. I felt like an elephant had stepped on my crotch and was still having bouts of diarrhea. I was glad when I was finally able to go sleep. I slept remarkably well until about 2:45 when Silas woke up crying inconsolably. I felt his side of the bed and realized it was soaked. After a while Anita figured out that water was leaking from the ceiling. Between one thing and another, I wasn’t able to go back to sleep until after 5:30.

I woke up a bit late, took too long at breakfast, and foolishly took the subway rather than a taxi. By the time I arrived near the test center, I was already 10 minutes late. It took me an additional 20 minutes to hail a cab and get to the test center. When I arrived at the test center, the staff informed me that I was late and made me sign an affidavit of sorts stating that I arrived late due to my own stupidity. They checked my ID and wanted to rush me into the test room but I protested because I felt yet another episode of diarrhea coming on. Thankfully I only had to go to the bathroom once more during the test.

There must a God in heaven because I was able to perform rather well on the GREs despite have a vasectomy 20 hours earlier, struggling with diarrhea, and having a stressful and sleepless night the night before.

When complaining about these events to Anita afterward she reminded that it could have been much worse. She said, “Hey, you were the one who wanted to come here during Ramadan. So in addition to getting snipped, having Big D, and have the water pour from the ceiling while you were sleeping, you could have been dehydrated, hungry, and physically exhausted too!”